Archive for September, 2005

Langshott Statue - Missing Dog

September 21st, 2005 at 12:51pm Under General

Ok, so is anyone ever going to own up to taking the dog from the Langshott Estate several years ago? If anyone knows its current whereabouts I would be interested to know. We should have a Horley’s Missing Bronze (effect) Dog Amnesty.

Any details of its whereabouts would be appreciated. Any leads (bronze effect) will be followed. I am going to try to reconstruct the crime scene if there are no witnesses to come forward.

Does anyone have any pictures of the missing dog so that I can attempt to jog a few memories?

Horley just has not recovered since the loss of its beloved pet. If the missing statue was to be returned I am certain that the well being of Horley Town will recover. Estate agent shops and charity shops will no longer be the only shop windows to balefully stare into as you walk through the town on your way to somewhere, anywhere, more interesting. The Gatwick will become a family pub with a bouncy castle in the rear garden. The Virgin airhostesses will once again walk its lonely and cracked footways. The tramps that sit outside Liddl’s sipping Tennant’s Super will get back their once prosperous jobs of Quick Fit Fitters and Surgeons at East Surrey Hospital.

Has anyone seen the dog?

Things to look out for:

Have cans of bronze (effect) Pedigree Chum been mysteriously disappearing from your cupboard?

Has your dog recently given birth to a litter of half-bronze (effect) puppies?

Horley police have long since given up looking for this dog - the last known clue to it’s whereabouts were when the hardware shop in Horley town centre shut down due to massive theft losses from its Duraglit and Brasso shelves.

Bring back the dog.

Here’s (sort of) how it used to look

Langshott Statue - how it used to be

By Jez 2 comments

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